13elephants: third space

“I win when I lose. I lose when I win.”

I am two years of age. I am wrapped in medical cloth. My chest is punctured with pain.

So begins a story of survival — three divorces, institutionalisation, bankruptcy, and a lifelong reckoning with what it means to belong.

In 13elephants: third space, Dr Micheal Brown draws on his doctoral and master's research, and a life lived in the space between what is known and what is not yet known, to ask the questions most of us are too afraid to ask ourselves:

●      Who am I when everything I built falls apart?

●      What do I owe the people who raised me, broke me, and rebuilt me?

●      How do I keep choosing to try, again and again, even when trying has cost me everything?

Part memoir, part academic inquiry, part open wound, this book moves between loneliness and love, imposter syndrome and self-discovery, grief and joy, with unflinching honesty.

It offers no easy answers, only an invitation: to step into your own third space, and begin the work of understanding who you really are.

This is a story about falling. And about getting up again.

About the Author

Dr Micheal Brown is a researcher, wellbeing consultant, and host of the 13elephants podcast. His doctoral and master's research examined Pākehā identity, belonging, and the third space in Aotearoa New Zealand.

Release Details

Available 13 December 2026.

This is a pre-launch listing. Purchasing opens on release day.

Format: eBook (EPUB)

Price: $9.95 NZD